second thoughts

i take back what it says at the top of my blog. about asking people to join me. i dont want them to have this life. im so lonely. i have no friends to go hang out with. i just want to find someone who will always bee with me. to help me feel better. i wish i had someone who would take the time and listen to me and talk to me. i want someone to hug me and make me feel better. i mostly want someone to understand and still love me. even if they know how screwed up my mind is. i really wish i had a boyfriend. at least a good one anyways that would stay even after knowing how messed up i am. but i guess im just not good enough for anyone to be with me.
well on a higher note, i gave myself my reward for for getting under 110. i got my hair cut and colored:) it looks pretty good. im no longer super light blonde. im now a mix of blonde and brown. like a whole bunch of mini highlights. its so weird to look in the mirror and see it ahah but its pretty:) and on another high note at the most im 106 now. so i guess thats good. i also got told im drop dead sexy so i guess thats good ahah. i also hate when people call me cute. cute to me is a word for chubby. mainly because a guy i really loved at one point told me im "cute chubby" so now when people tell me im cute i think its a nice way of saying you look fat. well i dont really have anything else to say i hope everyone is doing good. if anyone even reads this:/ i never seem to get any comments...any who good luck and i hope you dont feel like i do right now
xoxo thin is beauty