only 16 more pounds:DDD

i have sixteen maybe 15 more pounds until my goal weight:D im so happy:) im going on a fast i've decided. tonight i ate tons of grapes to clean out my system (safer than laxs). i have decided i cannot eat until i finish harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban. new rule: you can only eat once you finish the book im reading. also i need to pull up my grades fast! i have three weeks to get my grades up ugh major cramming! im guna have to pull me geometery grade up the best i can so i dont fail.. hopefully this all helps me not eat:) oh and diet cocoa is the best most wonderfull thing of my life!!!! only 25 calories a cup:D and that is the one thing i will never ever stop drinking im pretty sure. i would drink coffee but i HATE coffee so cocoa is like my coffee ahah. i've also decided i kinda wanna start writing poetry well try anyways ahah. maybe i'll start posting some of my stuff up once i get any good at it:) and also once i can move out of wyoming i am! the winters are horrible! i have never been this cold in my life! i mean i've lived here all my life but its just so cold this year! im freezing all the time:( i hate cold!
xoxo thin is beauty<3

whoooo!

im startin to feel tons better!! (pain pills are lovely) my surgery has given me a fantastic excuse as to not eat:D wednesday when i went to the doctors i weighed in at 116.8! today i stepped on my scale and it read up 110:D im so please! thats six pounds almost seven in 5 days:D thats amazing! i cant wait to lose more!!! its a great feeling:) im hoping by the time i got back to the doctor next wednesday i'll be at least 106:)as long as i keep this up i think i will be! my mom is starting to nag again about me eating so i just make it look like i've eaten something:) like sprinkling some cereal in a bowl with some milk and putting in the sink and she's all happy. today i emptied out on of the mini ben and jerry's ice creams she got me and she thinks i've eaten that too. really i've had two small apple slices, and two crackers. i had to eat those so i could take my pills without getting sick. all in all i feel im doing pretty good:) good luck girls (or guys:)) just keep trying and you'll get to your goal:)
xoxo thin is beauty<3

surgery:(

incase i havent said it on here i get horrible cramps when that time of the month comes around, or just when ever it feels like it. well i had surgery today well i guess yesterday, but any who it hurt. not guna lie. in a lot a lot of pain. i know take a pain pill ya thats not helping:/ the only good thing about this is i've only had three crackers and a few grapes (can take pills on an empty tummy dont wanna get sick). but i had a laprascopsy(i know spelled wrong) but pretty much they cut four holes in my stomach and filled me up with carbon dioxide. now im uberly bloated:( i feel like im just guna float away im so bloated. while they were doing that they took out my apendix. i guess it was all twisted up and what not. they also found out i have endrometeryious which means my uterus leaks blood into my body and it gets infected. so i gotta get that treated. but in the mean time i'm just in pain. i will never think lightly of getting up and going pee. that is one of the hardest things to do right now and my bathroom is about ten feet away. im kinda nervous about the bloat and not being able to do sit ups:/ i feel like im guna be bloated forever and its just guna stay there. im hoping by thanksgiving to be down 5 pounds. all i've been doing is drinking. so i hope i will. even though thats probably not helping with the bloat but o well im thirsty. i just wish i could sleep:/ i cant sleep no matter how hard i try! im so tired its all i want to do:/ i also wish i could have a nice subway sandwich with tuna lettuce tons and tons of pickles and banana peppers. but i gotta wait until i can purge for that:/ o well. i hope everyone is doing good! stay strong loves!
xoxo thin is beauty

ughhhhh

so i had a couple of days of bingeing and purging. now today my dad is just screaming at me about it and all that stuff. im just so sick of my parents trying to control me i mean its my body im guna go what i want with it clearly i dont care what you want me to do with it. its just so damn annoying and im just so pissed. they never said shit aobut how and what my sister ate so whatever its dumb. so not sure if i've lost any weight yet but im thinking i have but im not sure. i just people have been pissing me off sooo bad lately but its whatever i guess. i just am tired haha going threw one of my low moods i guess well i'll update later:)
xoxo stay strong<3

new plan!!

i am now weighing in at a huge 114 pounds! what the fuck! i hate how i look:/ i want to cut all this fat off my body, i want my bones to slip out of my skin so everyone can see their beauty. getting thin is my number one goal. nothing else is mattering really. i want to just lose weight! i hate winter!!!! i cant run! im guna be up all night running in my room tonight! this is my new diet plan:
morning: low cal cocoa (60) while getting ready
take my hydroxycut wait an hour, eat an apple (neg. calories)
lunch: hydroxycut wait an hour, have an apple and mints ( neg calories)
dinner: salad, fat free ranch dressing (i have always had a thing for ranch, not any ranch it HAS to be hidden valley ranch)
my work out will be 600 sit ups at least, 300 leg lifts, 100 squats, and as much carido as i can get in the winter.
i hate my body how it is so im going to change it. no matter what. im going vegan, first day will be tomorrow. i am the one that controlls my life and i want to be skinny so i will make myself skinny i can not wait until i am 90 pounds i Will get there. it might take me a while but i will. i swear.
xoxo thin is beauty<3